Modesty

Modesty.  A Hallmark of an LDS woman.  It has been something I have been thinking about a lot lately. 

I wanted to share a funny expereince I had in Walmart a few months ago.   I was shopping with my kids and I wandered by the swim suits.  As I was looking through them a group of about 5 teenage girls came over and were looking through the racks.  One of them held up a swim suit to herself and said to another "well?" to which the other said "Remember...MODEST IS THE HOTTEST".   Then they all laughed and moved on to another section of the store.  As they walked away I noticed that each of them were dressed modetly (granted it was Febuary).  I honestly wanted to run up and hug them all.  To tell them that I was PROUD of them for encouraging eachother to be modest.  I wanted to call and congratulate their mothers for teaching them modesty.  I will never forget that saying for as long as I live.  It will be a story I relate to my own daughter as she grows.
    I was reminded of a talk I heard by Susan Bednar when I was at Ricks college on modesty.  It really does reflect a respect for our bodies and for our relationship with the Lord.  Its a GREAT talk.  Here is the link http://www.byui.edu/Presentations/Transcripts/MiscellaneousAddresses/2001_09_16_Bednarsusan.htm
  I remember being in high school.  I never felt very pretty or attractive and I SURE never understood the way my dress affected boys.  But I do remember the first time I went to school in my Cheerleading Uniform.  I remember being a naieve Sophmore in that tiny little skirt.  I remember walking by a bench full of Senior boys who said somethings I will not repeat.  I did not feel attractive.....I felt dirty and used.  What was I supposed to do???  I had to wear that uniform to school every game day.  It was awkward and because I had been raised in house where modesty was expected it was difficult for me. 
  I also remember a night I was heading out the door to a school dance.  I had just bought this hot pink shirt that I LOVED.  It was really tight...but it was long enough, had a high neckline, and it had sleeves so I thought It was fine.  My brother matt passed me at the top of the stairs.  He stopped dead in his tracks and told me to go and change.  I was ANNOYED.  But I changed...because if MY BROTHER noticed...surely other boys would. Sometimes I wanted to be noticed....but I'm glad that I had parents and a brother to look out for me.
   Modesty is something our world think is old fashioned.  But, it invites the spirit into our lives and reminds us to keep ourselves pure and clean. Its something I have recently rededicated myself to pay closer attention to.

What does it mean to be a Powerful Woman?

I have been pondering lately what I really WANT!  I have always wanted to be a STRONG woman! (like my mother)  But what does that really mean to me?   I have become FASCINATED with the lives of women from church history....Lucky Mack Smith, Emma Smith, Eliza R Snow (did you know her middle name was Roxcy!!?) and Mary Fielding Smith.  What AWE inspiring woman who fearlessly trusted in the Lord, served others, raised families, and supported their husbands.  THAT is what I want to be.

   In recent talks Julie B Beck has referred to women as "the Lioness" of their families.  What a POWERFUL symbol.  ( I wrote a previous post about that) Beauty and strength mingled into one! I have never thought of myself as a feisty person.....or even very brave.  I have never done anything very heroic by the worlds standards BUT...I am learning more and more that when you love God the worlds standards just don't matter.  AT ALL.  The world would tell you that its DEGRADING to stay home and raise your children....the world will tell you that dressing MODESTLY and being CHASTE is old fashioned.  The world will tell you that Marriages are expendable and that you should worry about YOUR needs always being met to your hearts desire!  But the spirit will tell you differently.   There is more POWER in a faithful woman who is kind, chaste, and courageous than the world can imagine.  If the Lord created this earth by His power...JUST IMAGINE what we could do if we enabled ourselves with it.   The Lord said in Matthew that if you have as much faith as a mustard seed you could move mountains.  LITERALLY!  Moses parted the red sea not with his staff (that was a symbol) but with his FAITH!  
  Have you ever held a MUSTARD SEED in your hand??!??  Its so TINY!

What does that tell me about how powerful I could be???  How much good I could do??  How much I should TRUST the Lord? It makes me think about how little faith I must have now....and how I want it to grow like a mustard seed.  Into what the Savior called the "greatest of all herbs".  Why??  Because it becomes a HUGE tree! HUGE!

  THAT is what being humble, meek, kind, chaste, patient will make you.   A HUGE TREE OF FAITH!  A shelter from the storm for all those "little birds" who are lost.  A firmly rooted example of POWER!  YES.....POWER!
      The world has accused Mormon women of being weak, even blind.....but I am pretty sure those people have NEVER worked a miracle by their faith and prayers.  When you have that kind of Faith and are flawlessly obedient..... we will be able to call upon heaven for miracles.  And they will come to pass according to His will.  I will  never let the worlds judement make me feel powerless again.  For although a spiritual woman might appear to the world as lowly..........The Lords power is INFINTE and it is ours through our faith.   DO you feel AWESOME YET!???  Seriously.  It changes the way you think about washing the dishes and changing diapers!!  Literally when we give our hearts and lives to Him I believe He  will make us more powerful and beautiful than we could possibly imagine.   Bless me with the faith to become such a woman!

Sigh of Contentment.........

Well...I had a a realization the other day. I am content!!!  CONTENT!  I know that seems like a weird comment but I am a girl who never stops....I require myself to live up to an impossible standard of trying to be perfect and you now what....I'm just not!!!  And I'm alright with it.  I ate a Dove Chocolate the other day(yes I eat too much chocolate)  and it said "its alright to be FLAWED and FABULOUS!!"  I've been thinking about how profound that is.  ONE that it came from a CHOCOLATE wrapper and TWO that is just what God must think of us...FABULOUSLY FLAWED and HE still loves me!  I honestly felt like shouting HALLELUJAH right then and there! 
   Sometimes I just need PERMISSION to not try and be so overwhelmingly perfect because I ALWAYS end up feeling like a failure! Because the truth is I am a failure at being perfect and I always will be!  BUT.....I look around me and I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I have a husband who I adore...who I find ridiculosly handsome and charming and who...after almost 9 years of marriage I still want to spend the rest of etermity with....to grow old together!! Now THAT is exciting!  I have 3 kids..who are beautiful, smart, incredibly demanding and difficult to parent some days..but they are mine and I adore them.  I have wonderful parents, inlaws, siblings and friends. 
    Sigh!  I love my life.  Somedays I forget that!  But God has been good to me!    There have been some not so fun times....I'm tired...I get frustrated and I sure have more bad hair days than good.  But....all said and done.  I'm CONTENT!  The Lord has done a great job thus far driving my life....to unexpected places no less....learning things I did not want to learn voluntarily...but.....nonetheless....I think I will just let Him keep driving.  And I am just going to go along for the ride and try not to Whine too much and try to see the beauty in all I have. 

See....I'm wacky....I cant take a normal picture....and I'm getting wrinkles....But I'm ok with it!  I'm Me and thats Just GREAT!

I'm SUCH A REBEL!

So....that's a GIGANTIC LIE!  I am about as straight laced...mormon...conservative...as they come.  BUT...today I did something DARING.

(that I have always wanted to do....but never had the guts)   

I DYED MY HAIR RED!

Ok so its reddish brown.... but its pretty shocking from dirty blonde.   

It felt SO LIBERATING.  

and truley I LOVE IT. (and surprisingly Jeff does too ) 

I think I will keep it this way until March or so.    

Then...as if it could get any better...I spent a WHOLE 25 bucks on MYSELF!!!  I bought a few flirty little dresses and leggings on clearance at Walmart.  

One thing my momma taught me......

was how to ROCK THE RACK!! 

Seriously though....I have to hand it to Miley Cirus for helping me keep my wardrobe fresh for close to NOTHING.  Granted ...I do mix her things with ADULT things ....so It works. Actually it ROCKS.  I LOVE HER SKINNY JEANS. (I have black and grey) and....I rock them like I was 17 =) AND I'M PROUD OF IT!

So...I wore this cute little brown t shirt dress with a braided belt( 5$)....cream leggings (6$).....and Yellow moccasin flats (old navy last year 6$ clearance) and my RED HAIR from a box (7$)   GRAND TOTAL HEAD TO TOE......24$ 

and I felt like a super model. 

No .... BETTER than a SUPER MODEL.  

I FELT LIKE ME!!

A HAPPY..... FASHIONABLE...not too young...not too old....beautiful...powerful....wife....mother....woman.  

It was AMAZING.

If you have to change diapers and be drooled on.....

...love it....and look GREAT DOING IT!

5 yrs ago............

Today is Cailtyns birhtday (for about 10 more minutes).  She is 5 today.  yes 5!!!  I have been very emotional today.  (probably mostly from lack of sleep).  I remember the amazing moment it was to hold my first baby in my arms.  A child of mine, a child of God.  I can't think about the experience without tears.  I am so blessed to be a mother of 3 beautiful children.  I cherish each of them.  I am so grateful that theLord trusted me enough to make me a mother.  Its SO diffucult sometimes.  But a dream come true. 

I told Caitlyn that today was like Mothers Day for me.  She didn't get it.  Haha.  But my heart is full.  Full of Joy!

I love you CJ!  Happy Birthday.

Ever thought of TRIALS like THIS??!?!!

   

    There have been times in my life when trials have come upon me and I have doubted why? Why me? But...as I continue to move forward through my little life I have witnessed time and time again the Lords mercy.  His tender mercies are so abundant. He has carried me many difficult days. And I am stronger....well I, of my ownself am not stronger.  I am stronger because my FAITH in Him is stronger. 
   I have been thinking a lot the past year about WHY we have trials.  I personally always figured that they were to teach ME something about myself.  Apparently this is NOT the ONLY reason for trials.  I have recently come to cherish the story of the people of Alma in the Book of Mormon.  They were a select group of righteous believers who were converted by Alma (who was a preist of the wicked king Noah) and were baptized in the waters of Mormon. They then were warned by the Lord and fled for their lives. They finally settled and built up a people unto the Lord.  Then...the Lamanites found them....and put them into bondage....under NO WICKEDNESS OF THEIR OWN.  Why???  Why would the Lord do this to a faithful people.  Ahhhh.....I LOVE THE BOOK OF MORMON!!!  Listen to the end of the story......

Mosiah Chapter 24
14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

HOW AMAZING!  Our trials AREN'T ALWAYS JUST FOR US!  They allow us to gain FAITH, exercise that Faith and then BEAR TESTIMONY OF THE LORD's DELIEVERANCE!!!  OUR TRAILS ARE FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS......THROUGH OUR TESTIMONIES!  Staggering thought.
      
And....look how these people endured their trials................

Vs 15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

Oh how I want to be more like them.  Happy and Patient.....waiting always upon the WILL OF THE LORD.  NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TOOK.  Truly their trials....were for OUR BENEFIT.  Truly their examples were to BEAR WITNESS.  Now its my turn.

My NEW Favorite TALK EVER!!!

I'm loving the conference issue of the Ensign.  I am especially liking Julie B Becks talk “And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit”  link here http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-3,00.html

Here are my  FAVORITE parts......and why.....
1.
"The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. "
OK....see me previous post "Lioness at the Gate" (also about a Julie B Beck talk)  about how this should be our #1 priorety.    This is a staggering concept for me.  Personal Revelation is more important than FOOD!!  Its the only thing that will ensure our families ETERNAL SALVATION.  Pretty IMPORTANT.   BUT HOW DO I DO THAT?????  and....here comes my next favorite part.

2.
  "Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day. "  
So here is the ANSWER....READ YOUR SCRIPTURES......EVERY EVERY DAY!!!  So true....when I am reading my scriptures daily I feel so much more patient, focused and close to the spirit.  I am REALLY going to have to do better. Maybe I should not allow myself real food until I have my SPIRITUAL food for the day...(as I sit here eating my egg and english muffin =) ) THAT would for SURE motivate me....haha.

3.
 "....mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children."
 OH this is a HARD ONE!!  Sometimes I feel like my screaming fighting children do nothing but drive the spirit right out the front door.  And then....disciplining them SURELY seems to do so.  I have GOT to be MORE PATIENT.  I can not afford to loose the spirit because my kids poured cereal out all over the house or are intent on beating each other up or refuse to take naps.  I'm just going to have to speak more kindly and PRAY more earnestly for patience.  NO LAUGHING....SHE SAYS IT CAN BE DONE....It's going to take me my WHOLE LIFE to figure this one out. Ready.........GO!

4.

".... Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times."
 I love the imagery in this quote.....Oh how I NEED to feel BATHED in help from the Lord.  Life is HAAAAAAAAARRRRD!   Really Hard sometimes. (ok all the time right now) Sometimes its so easy for me to be frustrated and overwhelmed.  I often just DECIDE to let myself be grumpy and stressed out.  But if I REALLY BELIEVE that my LIFE IS IN THE LORDS HANDS then I should be able to just let HIM BATHE ME IN THE SPIRIT OF PEACE.

which brings me to my MOST FAVORITE PART.......

5.
The second general Relief Society president, Eliza R. Snow, said this to the sisters: “We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones. In an organized capacity we can assist each other in not only doing good but in refining ourselves, and whether few or many come forward and help to prosecute this great work, they will be those that will fill honorable positions in the Kingdom of God. . . . Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.”<sup>8

WOW!!!! WOW! WOW!
This is MY REALITY CHECK!!!!  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself when life is hard and realize that the LORD will grant all my righteous wishes and desires in due time.  Amazing Idea.  In other words....STOP WHINING!   Be happy!!!!!  This is the Lords plan and He needs me to be POWERFUL not PITUFUL!    Seriously.  Amazing.  Inspiring!!!!!  

Here I go......Trying to be " a Lady</sup>  in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones^"